Ten Things I Learned This Summer With My Kids

Posted by Joe Cianciotto

What I learned this summer.

Note: This entry is about two weeks late so just pretend it’s the day after Labor Day and you’re reading this.

So after spending two years on the road Monday through Thursdays, I saved up enough money to take my entire summer off so I could hang out with the kids and Jen full time. And just like one of those “What I did on summer vacation” essays I thought I would write a small piece on what I did… however, it really became about what I learned. And being that this was probably the first time I spent every single minute with my girls 24/7 I actually learned quite a bit.

Below is something of a stream of consciousness, representing my top ten takeaways…

10. If you try to sneak something behind Mom’s back (even if it is a treat for these kids) these nuggets will hold it over you and then eventually just tell her anyway.

9. If a four year old likes a movie they can literally watch it fifty times in a row and never get sick of it. And if they come back to it they have to start all over.

8. If left to their devices I don’t think young children would really ever consider bathing as an option ever. Bonus fact: Even though they are years from puberty they can still produce body odor rivaling a 14 year old…well now, that’s just awkward.

7. If you let them watch Netflix on your iphone in bed when they should be sleeping you are instantly their hero…of course go to takeaway “Number 10” to see how this eventually pans out.

6. For twenty dollars you can blow a child’s mind at Target.

5. The longer you listen to Kidz Bop, the more you start to think that those versions of the song are actually the originals.

4. You’re better off never knowing how bad a six year-old’s skills at wiping really are. It’s better to just live in denial and make sure you give them baths regularly.

3. The web of lies you weave to justify the tooth fairy’s existence rivals anything Janus ever came up with on The Sopranos.

2. It’s possible for both a six year-old and a four year-old to develop an addiction to videos of a Middle Eastern sixty year-old woman unboxing children’s toys on YouTube.

1. The little things you think you are doing for them in the end make you happiest of all. Ah and there are no little things.

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