This year’s New Years Resolution for Daddy, Hannah & Sophie

Posted by Joe Cianciotto

Okay so for the New Year in 2020 I started something new with my two daughters (Hannah who’s eight and Sophie who is turning six next month). We made a deal to list out the ten resolutions Daddy will make this year and the ten both of them would jointly agree to as well.

While we all agreed to try to adhere to this, it was the other party that initially came up with the resolutions for the other.

Below is a listing in order with relevant commentary:

RESOLUTIONS FOR DADDY

1. Stop drinking Diet Pepsi
   I drink about a six-pack of 16 oz. bottles a day so I am going to try to ease my way into unsweetened iced tea…or not.
2. Stop saying bad words.
   While I don’t curse a lot in front of them, I do refer to people as idiots when driving way too much and they think that is a curse word.
3. Stop being loud.
   What they really mean is stop yelling when they cover the house in slime.
4. Eat dinner together every night.
   When I am home this is usually the highlight of my day and I have to do this more.
5. When you go on calls don’t lock the door we may need something.
   I call B.S. on this because they only decide they need me the moment I get on a call.
6. Stop watching inappropriate TV shows with bad words.
   I’m obsessed with dateline reruns about one spouse offing the other.
7. If we ask you to… lay with us the whole night.
   I will lay with them in bed but once they nod off I coyote arm my way out of there.
8. Take us to TCBY every Friday.
   Perfectly reasonable until you realize how much TCBY costs when you let kids self-serve themselves.
9. Play with us outside.
   This is one of the greatest things about being a kid and as an adult I would be wise to take part.
10. Don’t be working when we need you.
    This one hits me the hardest, I have to unplug when it’s family time.

RESOLUTIONS FOR HANNAH & SOPHIE

1. Flush the toilet.
   This one is ridiculous, it’s like the bathroom in Penn Station minus dirty needles on the floor.
2. Stop sleeping in mommy and daddy’s bed.
   Nothing says marriage intimacy like “Can I sleep with you both?”
3. Eat lunch every day in school.
   You would think this is a no-brainer but they both eat their snack and leave their lunch in the bag.
4. Use the iPad less.
   I think they are more upset when the iPad dies then if I had died.
5. To learn to play the piano (for Hannah).
   Hannah has a keyboard and she wants to learn so we got her a piano.
6. Learn to ride a bike (for Sophie).
   If I’m being honest Hannah needs to learn as well.
7. Stop walking in on daddy when he’s peeing.
   The bathroom on the first floor doesn’t lock so they like to push the door open when they hear me peeing.
8. Stop fighting with each other.
   These two are the best of friends until they are killing each other.
9. Keep your room clean.
   It literally looks like somebody dropped a box of grenades in their room and used LOL Dolls as shrapnel.
10. Don’t hold your pee go to the bathroom.
    These nuggets will both put off going to the bathroom so they can play until they accidentally pee themselves.

Lets see how this goes, but if I’m being honest I’d let them off the hook on all ten of these just to drink Diet Pepsi.

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